My son came out in the summer of 2005. I had a very close relative approach me to advise that I reach out to the pastor of the parish I belonged to for the purpose of determining whether or not I was fit for my ministry roles. I was very proactive in the church; a lector, taught confirmation classes and was a part of the choir. I chose to have my approach be more so to let the pastor know what was going on in our lives.

When I had the conversation, something that came up was the fact that there seemed to be a need for an LGBTQ+  ministry in the parish and that a good way to start it would be with a parents group. I was asked if I wanted to start one. A few weeks after my son had come out, my best friend, Martha, and her husband, Javier, whom we’ve known since our children were in elementary school (Javier was my son’s scout master and our children went to the same schools), let us know that they had a similar scenario going on at home. I brought up what had been suggested by the parish.

A few months later we went to the religious education congress in Anaheim and met David Kennedy, who led the ministry to Catholic lesbian and gay persons at the diocesan level. He assisted us in creating the group at our parish. Martha, Javier and I chose to name ours Always Our Children, based on a document that the USCCB Committee released in 1997 and to have it cater to parents, as was originally suggested.

We had our first meeting at St. Dennis in Diamond Bar on March 31st, 2007, which was The Feast of the Visitation. I have always felt that it was a sign that Our Mother, Mary, was accepting and encouraging our ministry. It was about her going to visit her cousin, Elizabeth, and the two of them starting on this journey with their children, and how important and necessary it was, even for them, to love and support one another.

We met for a few months at St. Dennis and noticed there wasn’t much attendance. Someone suggested that maybe we consider meeting at someone’s home instead. Martha and Javier were kind enough to open their home, while it continued to be promoted in the bulletin and there were times when we also did pulpit announcements. Sure enough, the meeting attendance increased. At one point Martha let us know that she had invited a young man to join that group and we didn’t know how it would work out. We were so worried that he might be uncomfortable or feel unsafe. It turned out to be the best conversation. His presence provided an opportunity to gain perspective for the child as much as it seemed to provide perspective for the parents. From that point on, we had our meeting open to anybody and everybody who wanted to come.We had someone that said they’d been in ministry for years and years and that this topic had come up numerous times and he didn’t know what to say.

In 2015, Pat, from Holy Name of Mary, reached out to ask for support in creating an LGBTQ+ ministry there. I was asked to be of support in starting it. Ultimately, Pat and I decided to be co-leaders at that parish under No Barriers to Christ, a name Pat came up with, and to transition our ministry from Diamond Bar over to San Dimas. Our transition was so smooth that we did not skip a single meeting from Martha and Javier’s home over to a room at the Holy Name of Mary Parish. Our first meeting there was in September of that year. I started to lead the ministry on my own starting in 2020 and through June of 2025.

If I could help one person to accept who they are or one parent go through this process of acceptance of their LGBTQ+ child, I know that would be pleasing to God, who created all children in His image. What we hope to give to others is a place to share our stories, pray together and share our love and concern for all God’s children and open the eyes of those who need to see that God created all of us to love him and serve him, not to judge, fear and hate what we do not understand.  I believe that sharing our stories is the first step in healing and acceptance.